Trainee and children just wont listen to me.

How long have you been there for? It does take a while and even then they dont always listen. What age group? And you need to change your thinking from "the ones doing the wrong thing".... and you need to positively reflect on any conflict happening and talk to the children about it.

And also don;t think of it as "the children have to listen to what I say" why not reverse it.... ASk them "why are you doing this" "Do you think thats what you should be doing?" "What can you do different?" That way they have to reflect on what they are doing and figure out that it is not the right thing..... and you will get to listen to them..... and in turn they should also let you have your say. Its not just about talking at the children.

I started my traineeship two months ago.

Age group would be 2-5 but it is mostly the 5 yr olds that wont listen to me. I get down to their level and ask them "is that the right thing to do?" and when I tell them not to do it again they continue and I tell them that they need to come with me and when I take their hand they yell no and fall to the ground and I just give up because I don't want them to kick/punch me so I just leave it and keep telling them to stop and that they shouldn't be doing that.

Also they don't listen to me whenever I ask them to do something like if they can be my special helper and help me pack away.

I thought about making little cards for them and when they listen to me ill give them a stamp and when they recieve 5 stamps ill give them a sticker? when they do the wrong thing ill cross out a stamp? But ill need to talk about if I can do that with the director.

My opinion

You need to explain the consequences of the negative behaviours with the group before any thing happens. Get the group to help you make these consequences (These rules' may already exist in your Centre. (Ask your Group Leader)

Rather than asking for their help make it into a statement. "I need someone to help me with.... Is there anyone here BIG enough to help??" "If no-one helps me then it will take longer for ..... to happen" and make sure you use transition time between activities. This helps the children to disconnect from what they are doing to where they are going.

Telling a child they have done something wrong v's getting them involved in making the right choices. Do you as an adult like being told off for making the wrong choice? Most children do not like this and may not respond to you in other circumstances.

I do have issue with removing 'stickers that have been earn" from a child for making a wrong choice. I think telling the child (If you feel you need to use stickers) "oh dear you didn't get a sticker for making a good choice, maybe next time" would be more likely to engage them in positive behaviours.

I much prefer to 'catch' them making good choices/decisions and praise them up for it.

You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

As I said this is just my opinion on the questions you asked.

We are not allowed to use stickers and 'rewards' in our centre as it is biased and the only time we can use them is if we give one to every child :S

I have had this issue many times with assistants, sometimes the children just do not see them as that authority/in-charge figure who they need to listen to.

I always make sure when I see an assistant or any other staff in my room and struggling with kids just not responding to them that I talk to the children and say "so and so is a teacher in our room too and we must listen to them"

Just to add it didn't really matter how the assistant was trying to get them to listen and had adopted many strategies mentioned here, they just would not respond the way they did to me.

I would also ask your GL if you can do a few Group Time sessions etc as again this makes you more a teacher figure in the kids eyes.

Kids can be funny and somehow seem to know who the "main" person is in the room, thats why I always make sure my assistants do group time and other duties that sometimes only a GL would do

When I started none of the kids listened to me . Now I am told I am one of the strictest ha ha .

Give them options , ask open ended questions and separate them from the group if you have to.

Plus your supervisor should be training you and giving you tips.

I think it just comes down to confidence which is hard to have as a trainee. For me it was a vicious cycle to start with because I had no confidence because the children wouldn't listen but they weren't listening because I had no confidence. Its important that you keep trying and taking in as many tips from other educators as possible. I have found that children listen to the educators that are confident, firm but fair. Keep your head up and good luck!